Hi folks,

Just an quick post, 3e  got admitted to the art academy

bye

Hi folks

OK has been an few weeks again since I wrote here, again. I was on holiday/vacation ( never know which one it is ) for an week to our trailer by the sea ( sounds great , nice song but is much smaller then an real trailer, only 6 metres but I love it there is so restfull there) and when I came back I was very busy and then I was sick for an few days. Yesterday 3e had her promnight ( which is not such an big thing here as the always show in amarican movies) it was great. She had asked to be brought there in an hummer, she loves those cars, but since I'm not ricj and renting an hummer costs about an months salary for me, we had to get something else. I mailed several people, like hummer dealers, an hummer club and talked to everyone I saw with an hummer ( which off course weren't much people, I believe we have about an thousand hummer in the whole country) but nothing worked. So in the end I asked my little brother, whom has an classic mercedes, and the neighbour, whom is an member of an motorclub. 3e did once mention she wouldn't mind an escorte of motorcycles to her prom ( she couldn't be brought by one, since it is impossible to sit on an motor with an dress ) and he managed to get 5 bikers to escort her, together with my other brother and her friend we had an total of 7 bikes to escort her. She didn't expect anything, and thought she would be brought there by my car so when she came out and saw the mercedes and especcially the bikes she had to ran back in again because she started crying. It was an face I will never forget and made everything worth again. we took here to the harbor ( an very, very little harbor, by an river in town) and although there where an lot of nice cars ( mustang '66, citroen DS, very ;arge pick ups and actually an hummer) she made an great entrance, since every bike made an lot of noise when we arrived there one even made an burnout( he had just gotten the message his new tires where in ^_~) I'm pretty sure everbody has noticed her. 3e also had her test to be get admitted at the art academy, and although she didn't think at first she did well, since she had an project and it didn't work out the way she wanted, and the one in front of her was much better then she was, she realxed after have seen the other projects, there were not very good ^_^. And also in her intervieuw the guy said they where impressed by her portfolio and that although he wasn't really allowed to say it she shouldn't worrie to much, also because the project wasn't that important, the intervieuw was more important and she did very well there. We will get the result in two weeks but I'm pretty confident she will be admitted.I really, really hope so, it will do her so much good, because she is very good in her art, but off course she will not believe that from us, and she compares herself to people on internet, with more experience etc. She believes she's not that good. Off course she still has to learn but theres is real promiss in her art. Today we had the childrenparty for the birthday of myrthe, whom turned 7 two weeks ago and it was fun, we went to on indoorplayworld with 5 of her friends, and the played till they couldn't stand anymore. We had fries and frikandel ( an typical dutch snack) and more and we ended it just before the got annoying, so all in all an succesfull party. Now we are realxing from all stress. Gonna watch CSI now, so back in an while

Bye
Dodo

Hello folks,

Doubt if anyone is gonna read this but I'm back at my blog. Haven't been writing here for an long time and don't really have an reason why, maybe because I didn't want to, maybe because I'm too busy I haven't got an clue. But got an message from ruby, and we seem to keep on missing eachother on yahoo messenger, so ruby if you read this please send an mail. I deleted an couple of entries since it turned out my blog was being abused by commercial jerks. OK last time I wrote here was almost over an year ago, lot and lots of things happened since then. Not gonna tell them all. It was an rocky year again, seems kids  and teenagers do have an tendency to rock your world. Actually it is going reasonbly well with them. Off course the youngest has the least of problems, she doesn't want to eat properly but that's it. She is now learnig to ride an horse and she is very good at it, after six lessons she is much better then most of them at that point, and she loves it, so that's good. The second lesson she had she already had an encounter with her horse, it went of on her, luckily she managed to stay on, which was very well off her. Things are looking better for us, especially financially. My wife has an new job, we managed to cut back in costs more and easier then we thought so now we actually have some saving instead of only debts. L10 has passed her finals, and decided to work for an year before going on with her next study since she didn't have an clue what she would like to study. She has found something now, and will be starting school again next semester. She also lived on her own for an few months, but it turned out that wasn't so good for her. she felt really lonely. So she moved back in with us.When she starts school again she will have to try again since it is too far away from us to travel daily. Bas is doing very well, he is rising in his company and is also considering moving out ( about time he is almost 22) and is making more money then me, although it still isn't enough. They only still causing some worries is off course 3e although I have faith that it will get better. She is suffering an bad case of not respecting herself. That guy I talked about, eagle much older the her kind of dumped her by simply ignoring her, she didn't take that very well. After that one of the most terrible things happened. It turned out that my best friend ( almost 18 years) Joep(married by at that time) had talked her into having sex with him. She says she wanted it too, but I have much doubt about that. She is to integer to do that if she was thinking properly. Joep took advantage of her low self astame and tlaked her into it, I'm sure about that. Worse is that when I got suspicious and asked him about it he lied. I then forbid them both to have any contact, which he ignored. We found out for sure when 3e had left her hotmail account open and Marjolein discovered an mail from him with an naked penis in it. He didn't use his name but when I traced this mail, it turned out to come from the axact same computer as he was using at that time. When I confronted him with it he came up with al kind off excuses, which he is an master in. All possible but very unlikely. We then confronted 3e with this information and she luckily told us the truth. that she did had sex with him twce or three times i'm not sure on that, and she felt really terrible about it. And again Joep denied everything, he claimed 3e just wanted attention. And after that he has just been avoiding me, the fucking coward. And he should be avoiding me, cause I will break his bones if I have the change. And finally we found out that 3e does self-injury. So all in all an rocky yera. Gonna end now, hope to write more soon.

Hi Folks

Oke, deleted an former entry, I was to frustated when I wrote it and I kind off harmed people and tolded things wich weren't true. Well they where true but not that bad as I described them. I do are fed up with the kids an bit, pubers are never happy, or you are too less an father or you are to much. Had an argument with 3e yesterday, about the time she spends on internet again. She really does spend too much time there, like 11 hours on sunday and monday together, and I don't know today, cause I fell asleep on the couch, but I guess it will be at least three hours, she went on at 20.30 and knowing her she stayd one untill she wnet to bed wich woulds be around 23.00, and I'm sure she was on this afternoon. I jusat wanted to warn her for that, but had an bad mood (again) and started the wrong way and she had ab abswer back wich I didn't have an answer for and that frustated me and that was the start of an bit of an fight, wich she won off course since I started wrong. Sended her an email to explain what I really wanted to tell, heard an thing on the radio about internet addictions and she has an lot off symptoms, worries me. And as said in my deleted entry, I can't be nice to her always, don't want too anymore, it kind off looks to me the nicer I am they more distance she takes, and if i'm angry with her she also takes distance so I'm now just gonna do what I like.
L10 is getting more exam-stress. Got an call from her school that she has to finish her scholl project.Turned out half of her class didn't finish it in time. Wonder what she will do with it. I think she still isn't sure what she want to do later and what school she wants to go too, she now wants to study visual communications, but she hasn't done anything anymore to do something with it, and I have the feeling that's also not really what she wants. Her teacher adviced us to get the jobbook from the libary and just write down wich jobs we think could be something for her and then discuss them with her. Maybe w'll find out that way.Time is getting short now. I think she will be fine in the end though, she always is ^_~. Our new car turnes out to cost more money then we expected, something with the repairs went wrong and when we drove it afterwards we broke more in the engine. So now I've ordered about an dozen new parts for it, and then when it's fiished we have about an new engine in it. Still the parts aren't expensive and we are still spending  less money on it then we got back from the van, so all in all nothing to worrie. The other car has been in the garage an lot lately as well, all small things wich had to do with the fact it uses LPG to drive on. ind off not have the car in the garage for many km, so everything was dirty in it and it doesn't drive nicely then ^_~. It does now, wich is very nice. We have driven that car in the last 15 months from 130.000 km to 170.000 km, wich is an lot, we won the car 18 months now, but it hasen't been driving for 3 months because the gearbox broke down and we had to save to get that fixed ( 1.000 euro's, and we just had bought the car) Normally Bas fixes these things but he can't ahndle the LPG so we have to take this car to an real garage mostly. It has been in there 3 times in the last two months, but now it all is well. At leats for the crack in the fornt window, we still have to get that fixed. But the good news is that we save an 100 euro's every month we drive it cuase LPG is much less expensive then gasoline. The money thing is still soemthing wich frustates me as well, mar business is going better but still not as good as we thought and it turnes out we have been spending more moneu for year then we got in. Not anymore though, but well you can figure it out. It's frustating you can't give the kids what they want sometimes, I would loive to take 3e and l10 shopping for clothes or something. I'm also worried about l10 going to life on het own, we have no money to help her,we wanted to get her some new furniture and stuff, but I can't see how, ah well w'll find an way. Have been weorking much lately, came home lats night at 20.00 and had to get out of bed this morning at 2.30, that was not much sleep, and the kids woikle me up when the got to bed yesterday ( they can't help it) so I had an really hard day today, also since I had to work untill 18.30. Therefor I'm gonna go to bed now.

Bye
dodo

Hi folks

Oke had an boring, boring day, and yesterday as well. I'm doing the same work as last week, and driving the same route and seeing the same people every day is really boring, and I have to do it for the rest of the week. Well it's good for my insomnia, but it's bad for my mood. Today is our national day of compliments ( who comes up with these things???) . So to every body, you are all great!!. Finally got some tickets for my friends play, forgot about getting them, and we couldn't decide wich day to go, weel turns out one day is already solded out, that makes the decision easier. Have intsalled the computer again, everything is clean again, now I'm gonna give my second harddrive to an friend of mine, wich computer crashed down badly. L10 and 3E are having exam week on school, they have to study hard now ( although 3e doesn't seem to do that much, but I gues she will be alright, the grades will show, she says she is doing well except for economics, wich isn't her thing, so I don't mind much about that.) Things are goinf well I think, I feel realxed except for the boring job I have now. No problems, wich is nice for an change, but I think it will not last long, it never does ^_~. Haven't send the mail to eagle btw, didn't see any use in it. The will work it out or not, it's not my problem, although you worrie an bit off course. It's very hard to love eachother and then not touch eachother or do anything, I know. Ah well, ahve to much time to think I guess ^_~.  #e is turning off all lights around me, she thinks I have to much light on, I like lights. Well don't have anything else to ly about left gonna leave you now, gonna take some quizzies I guess.

bye
dodo

Hi folks, Well, had written an big post yesterday, or actually in the middle of the night, since i couldn't sleep again, and when I was almost finished I hit the sleep button accidently, and instead of pressing the wake up button I pressed power and well the comp shut down, gone was my post . I was so angry I didn't start it up again and went to bed.  So I gonna shuit down the function off those buttons. hate it when computers do stuff like that ( i know computers don't make mistakes)
Ok about my day, actually it is goin pretty well, although my insomnia is back again. was going better the last few weeks, even thought it might be over, but the last two days I've been awake again at night. I'm tired again, really tired. 3E got an nice card from Eagle yesterday, really nice, she gave him an card also and an selfmade drawing, very good. I gave Mar an book with poems about love for an women, and she gave me, well nothing ( althuogh I did get an nice eltric drill a few weeks ago, wich was very expensive, and she tolded me it was for valentines day, not an very romantic present but I'm very happy with it .) Hope 3e and Eagle are maneging it, must be hard for them, just beeing friends. But I'm happy to see her so happy with her card . Wonder where this will go, but very relaxed with it. Have written an mail to eagle, about how I now trust him, but haven't sended it yet, not sure what to do. It's not that I'm interfering (?) with it, and I really want him to say he touched me with they way he loves my daughter, never expected that, but I also promised 3e not to contact eagle, and I don't know if it has any use, sending him an e-mail.Well I will see, is no rush in it. Have to put myrthe to bed now ( we are trying to let her do everything on her own, brushing her teeth and washing and more, is nice to see how she tries to fool us.

Bye
dodo

HI Folks,

Well has been an nice weekend up till now. I went to an party yesterday, from an firned of mine and his daughter, they both got an year older. Was very nice. We arrived there in the late afternoon and staid till 22.00 or zo ( we had to drive back for over two hours so we couldn't stay long.) They friend I was there was an old highschool firned Jan and  we picked onother old firned on the way over there Benno. The three of us have been friends for over 20 years now. We all live in different parts of the netherlands ( wich is luckely not so big , you can drive from one end to the other in four hours) We have planned several weekends and nights together to see eachother more, because we don't see eachother enough. On the way back I talked to mar an lot about these things and we realised we are both to mixed up with our kids ans stuff so we kind of are forgetting aboput our friends wich off course isn't good. And I realised I should just visit them more, don't need an special reason. It used to be an moneyproblem as well, cause driving over there costs me money, but  it's better to spend some money then to lose friends, so we have now made the deal that we should gho out more and visit friends more. We don't have to do that together, I can go on my own, and so can she, cause it's almost impossible to find an night we can go together. And next time we are gonna find an way  to sleep over, so we don't have to go home again.
This afternoon we are giong to the cinema with mitje, to watcg sponge bob the movie, but I have to go now, mitje wants to write an journal of her own:

myrthe hallo

ik heb net 3 nachtjes bij oma gelogeerd.

Translation:
If just staid over for 3 nights at my grannies home



she really likes the smilies

bye
dodo

Hi folks,

Has been an boring day, had to go to the same place twice with my truck, doing everything over again, and beeing alone all the time, so  boring. Called an lot of people today on my cell phone ( is illegal to call while driving but he who cares) had nice converstions today talking about absolutly nothing. Like for instance with 3e, we made plans how she could kill me without getting cought, so she could  get money from me, but as she isn't officiall an kid of mine, she has to kill my wife and youngest daughter as well, before she gets any money. Was an nice conversation. When I was almost finished an friend of mine called, he had broken down with his car, again. He has an nice reasonbly new car ( alfa Romeo 156, 2.4 JTD) and it's more broken then our old cars ( the youngest just turned 10, the other is  16)) always makes me smile an bit. But helped him and got home late.  Didn't matter cause 3e cooked tonight ( pancakes with all kinds of stuff in them , like mushroom, cheese, salami etc) and she cookes great but is always kind  of late. Had some fun with the youngest when putting her into bed, she likes to pull me down on the bed and then jump on me, don't alweays like that ^_~, but makes her laugh much. And now i'm just realxing before I go to bed, cause I have to get up at 4.30. And slept little last night.  Went to bed at 22.30 and woke up at 2.30, didn't sleep much after that till 6.30. Was an restless night. And that's hard when you sit in your truck the next day with the sun on your window, really had to fight off the sleep. Luckely I have friends I can call and talk useless bla with ^_^.  Ok gonna watch some stupid pointless movie now, must be one on somewhere and be mindless, that can be so nice sometimes.

bye
dodo